


420 Tradition

by Omniblacklight



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 420, Brotherly Bonding, Cuddles, Nonsexual, Recreational Drug Use, Stoners watching MLP, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-04 00:56:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omniblacklight/pseuds/Omniblacklight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April 20th, Dave discovers something about John and suddenly wants to try it for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	420 Tradition

**Author's Note:**

> 420Bullshit - lol I have no idea, but it popped into my head. No smut, I love Stridercest and all but that's not what this was for. Excuse mistakes please, I'm just having fun with this. Labeled Explicit for drug use and cursing bluh

Another sweaty Friday morning. Dave is sitting on the rooftop, sipping away at a box of apple juice (boxes are harder to tamper with he decided, and the little straws aren't completely uncool), skipping school. Which is ironic because he actually doesn't do a damn thing everyone at school looking at his empty seat thinks he's doing or is that unironic? Dave decides again he hates this heat, why did he pick this time of day to drink on the roof?  
  
His phone buzzes in his pocket and he groans, wondering if school already messaged his super-guardian brother and informed him of another absence which would result in immediate texts from his bro questioning why he couldn't be sneakier and ditch at lunch. Instead something he expected Rose to send today while seated in class drawing wizard penis on her notepad; a colorful noisy media text with a dancing joint and confetti. She didn't find it entertaining to smoke one up and gorge on junk food and after the fourth of fifth time of this gave the junk up but she sent your phone messages for every holiday no matter how hipster or mainstream, just to stay on top of things.  
  
Then another text pinged in.  
  
"Hey! Happy 420 Dave! Hope you're having a blast! ;B Eating more cake than I ever have today!"  
  
Dave stared at his cell phone. Oh shit, that's not Rose. John knows what 420 means to a bunch of teens that should be in school but choose to skip and smoke all day long? Egbert is celebrating 420?! No way. Dave snorted and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Oh John, what would Daddy say?"  
"'I'm so proud of you John! How did you know to look in the cigar box?' That's what he'd say then whack me in the face with another delicious cake."  
  
This conversation was getting weirder by the moment. It would explain why Mr.Egbert constantly cooked up cakes all the time. _Mr.Egbert was constantly baked_. Now Dave was feeling out of it. Wow, the Egberts, really?   
  
"You serious?"  
"The cigar box, yeah. He doesn't even smoke cigars! Bad hiding place. Never changes though."  
"No. Since when do you, ever innocent Egbert, windiest guy I know, best bro of mine, partake?"  
  
Dave hit send, but didn't really care about the answer, he just couldn't grasp it. The guys at school that did it were complete losers, the kind movies warn about because their brain is so completely smoked out-just like Bro warned him. Bro said that shit rotted the mind, and the one time Dave came home smelling like pot (because some jackass he was rapping off with at the subway blew smoke all over him) he had to listen to three different smuppets and Lil Cal explain to him the dangerous paths a gateway drug like that could open and how his sweet ass could be sold off to some underground sextrade if he wasn't careful with those kind of people.  
  
At the time he couldn't tell if Dirk was being serious or just blowing smoke and fucking with him.  
  
But then that leaves the Egberts. How did they fit in? John's Dad was a man of business and had a good reputation. John was a straight-A student, the type that would get a scholarship and probably take on a job as a college professor that pranks his students every chance he could get. Now that he thought of it, he was pretty sure Bro smoked. It made sense, the familiar sliding of the window open, the tink tink tink as something was tapped out, he could smell it sometimes, when little tendrils of smoke crept up the other side of the door. It was hypocritical but Dave never pointed it out because..Well the whole talk with Lil Cal freaked him out enough, he avoided pretty much anything that would encourage another puppet counseling.  
  
"Are you mad at me?" John answers at last.  
"Its fine bro, I just didn't know you did that kind of thing."  
"Wait you don't?"  
  
That pause again, this time on Dave's end. In the end he just sent a two character text, shrugging and finishing his juice. Then his phone exploded. Dave couldn't read one complete text before another interrupted.  
  
"Seriously? / _ping_ / Oh wow I just didn't / _ping_ / OMG we should / _ping_ / skipped today / _ping_ / Cake is the best thing / _ping_ / Your brother still like MLP? / _ping_ / Wow I bet you are drinking juice being / _ping_ / Hehehetrollpee / _ping_ / Dave are you listening?"  
  
"Shit slow down Egbert. Computer."  
  
Dave grinned. He wanted to see John right now. This was going to be hilarious, he was probably stoned out of his mind and giggling like a madman and doing flips in the air. But when they managed to get online and turn the webcams on Dave wasn't sure if he should feel irritated or pranked when John came into view. He was bright eyed, smiling, hair brushed, showered, just a little frosting on the side of his lip that he licked off once he noticed.  
  
Dave flung his hands up. John was a prankster, he should've known better. "Nice one." John was looking at him like he was missing the punch line here. "You aren't stoned."  
  
"Oh!" John finally got it and pulled once at his eyelids. "I don't get all bloodshot and blotchy anymore. That's something novices get you know? Well not that you would know but-well that's not a bad thing! No not at all, really I should be ashamed, I mean it's not like it's something I should be proud of which I'm not at all I just can't believe Dave Strider doesn't it's so weird. Not weird as in bad weird or anything just..Like when I stumbled on Rose's online blog from when she was a kid, she had all these creepy fanfictions and they were weird. Not like this weird oh speaking of Rose Jade had been showing me these cross bred flowers she's been-"  
  
Okay, Dave is slowly starting to realize that yes, his friend is stoned. He waits for a gap in conversation but discovers there isn't going to be one for a while, so breaks in.  
  
"I still don't get it. The guys I see on the shit, you can tell. If you've been doing this for a while how come you've never mentioned it before? Sounds mysterious Egbert, something's amiss. My heart is broken, shattered to think that my best bro, that's supposed to be you John Egbert, would hide something like this from me all the years we've known each other."  
  
John perks up and forgets the other story he was telling, something about a rapids river ride, and hops right into the new conversation. "Haha oh shut up Dave. I guess it depends on the quality. Dad is very picky. So I guess he gets the real good stuff. And it isn't like I'm always puffing! I don't get completely baked on it either. Never brought it up because well I don't brag about it, that's just stupid and I already think Dad knows when I pinch a bit though because he gets this look but he won't out and say it. Oh I'm not meaning to say you should do it or anything nonono! That's not right I was just surprised you didn't but really you shouldn't anyhow-" He continues on and on, Dave watching but not really listening. Now he wants to try it.  
  
John's stomach makes a very loud and angry growl that makes the guy's cheeks flare up. "Wow, bad point of the stuff.."  
"Go feed that monster John, it sounds angry."  
"Hehehe yeah, Dad has some more cake in the freezer I think. I'll talk to you later."  
"See ya."  
  
The two exchange virtual fist bumps(which look really stupid to do over a webcam but whatever) and John logs out. Dave is left there sitting at his computer chair, contemplating his plans for the day. He looked at the clock. His older bro would be home soon. Maybe he should just..ask him? Yeah, why not. Sounded better than getting caught snooping through his brother's shit for his stash and have some kind of fucked up puppet based punishment.  
  
  
It's the first thing Dave asks when Dirk gets home.  
  
"You couldn't handle it." Not a denial of doing it, not a question as to why he'd ask.  
"What? Oh come _on_."  
"Have I gone through this talk with you?" Dirk reaches a gloved hand out to a box of plush puppets.  
"No, don't bring out the fucking smuppets for this shit!" Dave waves his hands, "I'm not fucking five jesus! I'm not throwing a fit I just want a real-Don't get Lil Cal either, yeah I seen that."  
"Dave, I already gave you my answer."  
"When have I not handled anything thrown at me with anything less than perfection?"  
"Night-time cough syrup."  
"You can't hold that against me."  
"That body spray."  
"That was a phase and that has nothing to do with bodily reactions."  
"New Year's."  
"Oh that was like _two years_ ago!"  
"Half a beer. _Half a beer_ Dave and you were stumbling around like an idiot and nearly fell out the window. You spent the night in the bathroom, singing to the toilet Dave, over half a beer."  
"Bullshit, what I drank of it was at least the equivalent to two entire twelve ounce cans of beer and sloppy gulps of another."  
  
In Dave's defense Dirk did buy a huge bottle of beer, and swapped it out with a fresh one when Dave wasn't looking. Still, he didn't think he should budge on this. Dirk had traumatized Dave with puppets and sword avalanches, he let the kid get into some pretty tight situations, set off the fire alarm to see how well the kid's taking to stairs (he got better)..Well Dave wasn't a kid anymore. This is a bro asking his older bro to toke him up. How far does the line go until it's bad parenting though? The other stuff, that was sibling warfare mixed with a fatherly dose of preparation for a hard world. But if he didn't Dave would find a way to do it with some stranger or some creep...  
  
  
Dave wasn't one to win an argument against Dirk but ten minutes later the Strider brothers were seated on Dirk's bed(which had a scary amount of pillows), a large glass bong held between the elder strider's legs while he crumbled strong smelling weed into the bowl. If Dave was going to ask him for something like this, Dirk was going to make sure Dave suffered for it.  
  
"You sure?" Dirk asked and sloshed the bong a little. "You can still back out before you do something stupid."  
  
Dave scoffed and fought through a few pillows to get comfortable. Dirk shrugged and flicked  a zippo lighter with fire licking up the sides and ' _hot momma_ ' scribbled in white on the front at Dave's  head. He barely caught the thing and stared at it, then the bong, then to Dirk again. He looked like a lost puppy.  
  
Deciding to be only slightly less of an ass and spare his brother a blind shot, he snatches his lighter back and tilts the bong. Thumb rolls over the zippo and flame bursts to light brought to the bowl. The herb contorts under the flame and crackles, the bong bubbles and Dave watches smoke gather from water up to his brother's hallowed mouth, watches his chest expand. Dirk removes the bowl near the end of his lung's capacity and inhales the rest of the smoke, before replacing the bowl and holding the smoke in like a fucking pro he hands the bong off to his little brother as he releases the smoke in a slow breath plumes billowing around his head and smug grin.  
  
Now it's Dave's turn.  
  
Didn't look to hard, Dave knew how to get a zippo going, he knew how to set things on fire, he knew how to inhale and really it wasn't bad he couldn't taste anything at all maybe he wasn't getting-  
  
" _ohmygodyouaresuchabastard_ " Dave rasped out at his laughing brother through ragged coughing and teary eyes at the sudden realization that his lungs were filled to the brim with cold smoke. He coughed and fisted the pillows, trying so hard to keep from dying right then and there in his brother's room. He should've known better, he seen dumb clips online of tourists taking that rite of passage and coughing their lungs out because they took too big a hit. He was dying. He was dying right here, right now. All because he wanted to try some stupid fucking pot.  
  
"I told you, you couldn't handle it." Dirk said, only mildly sympathetic to his brother's pain considering he _was_ being a bastard by introducing his bro to the wonderful world of weed with a bong and dry strong produce. "Hey calm down, you're going to make yourself puke coughing like that. Calm down. Slow breath," Dirk inhaled very slowly and exhaled just as slow, Dave copied to a point and coughed again, taking a big gulp of water off the nightstand. He then looked like he regretted the very idea of drinking water sitting on his Bro's nightstand. His lungs hurt, his eyes were stinging with tears, his body kept twitching because he wanted to cough again.  
  
Dave flinched when Dirk's hand smoothed back his disheveled hair, and plucked the round shades right off his nose. Dave didn't trust himself to speak remotely even right now and raised a slightly crinkled brow.  
  
Dirk brushed his rough thumbs around Dave's eyes, wiping away the involuntary tears (Striders don't really have tears, it was just sweat). He just held Dave's head then, grinning at him. Dave finally sputtered out a "Dammit bro what the fu-" before smoke tumbled from Dirk's mouth, surrounding Dave's head as he took a breath in. It was still scratchy at his throat but there wasn't as serious of a concentration of it, Dirk turned his head and breathed the rest out away, waving his hand in the air.  
  
Dave sat there breathing it in, it was a weird feeling, like he was floating in a pool after swimming until his muscles turned to mush. His throat dry, his eyes stinging slightly still. He watched Dirk take another long draw, the way his throat moved as he breathed the smoke into his lungs. This time when Dirk grabbed his chin Dave began taking a slow breath in as Dirk blew the smoke out around him. Dave watched some of the smoke spiral to the ceiling, mumbling some kind of thanks as he grabbed the bottle of water he was handed.  
  
Dirk watched, leaning back on the piles of pillows, as Dave's brain became fuddled. Dave hadn't walked out or even scowled when Dirk clicked his keyboard a few times, the DVD drive purring before cheerful music drifted in and colorful ponies engaged in quests of friendship and magic. He just sat there, shadeless red eyes bloodshot and half lidded, watching the cartoon.  
  
Three bottles of water, two orange sodas, a box of half stale cheese crackers and a bag of gummy worms later the two had finished off everything Bro set aside for their experiment and turned on the fan to a gentle hum. They were on the fourth or so episode in a row.  
  
This was how they ended up in the position now, Dave resting his chest on his brother's chest, body snuggled up close against him in the strange cool air, watching as Twinklewhatsherhorn and Pinkyfuckinghyperashell work through some dilemma between their other psycho friends, Dirk's arm around his brother's shoulder. Dirk had to hand it to Dave though, the brat wasn't bouncing around staring at random crap commenting on everything. Mostly he looked comatose, which was an alright first time reaction. Wait, he was asleep. Okay, so Dave passed the fuck out at some point and Dirk was enveloped so deeply in the plot he hadn't noticed. It was all cool.  
  
At the end of the disc Dirk shifted some, letting his brother lay against the mounds of pillows and ever so gently tucked Lil Cal under Dave's arm before pulling the blanket up to their shoulders. He grabbed Dave's phone and snapped a picture, sending it off to that Egderp kid a couple states over, another for himself. He'd print it out and put it on the fridge later, Dave would never cease to make a fool of himself around his friends and his brother. Not that Dave thought that was a problem.  
  
"You're the best bro." Dave murmured in his sleep and smiled, hugging Lil Cal though in a few hours he'd flip his shit waking up to the gold toothed creepy ass puppet and probably sulk for a solid week over the whole ordeal when he read John's mocking.

**Author's Note:**

> Heh, I was going to do one with trolls to, but all I could think of was karkat getting all angry cute and his teeth -clink clinking- against the glass, then how stronger trolls might..-clink clink crunch- and it went downhill from there. . .


End file.
